‘God took a Microphone, Put a soul in it, dropped it on earth and named it KMJ – I was born to talk’ – KMJ

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By KMJ

With a golden spark of light and beaming with bright smiles that can heal the wounds of a broken heart, she waves her soft and silky beautiful hair on her shoulders to reposition it to its rightful place; the tall, well-trimmed long hair like the Mississippi delta is already shinning like a national guitar. She sits on the bed, in her beautiful hand-woven kente dress, looking exactly like the queen she’s supposed to be and that will be my wife I will share the rest of my life with, eventually when she says ‘YES I DO’ in the night club, yes the NIGHT CLUB!

The cameras flicker, lights beaming and giving the inside of one of the luxurious and well patronized night clubs in the city, LIQUID NIGHT CLUB that spectacular club feel it’s supposed to. Very soon, the strictly by invitation marriage in the night club will begin and be rest assured, go into history books as the only marriage organized by a crazy, young, enigmatic, eccentric, eloquent and fashionable radio presenter in the Eastern part of the country.

My affable MC for the night, Kwame Dadzie, albeit in shock, will still go ahead and announce to the guest of over 20 people which included a special guest, my former boss at the radio station I was working with, Mr Oliver Desbordes (May his soul rest in peace) and his managers that the only marriage in a Night Club will soon begin.

My twin brother, Bello who doubles as my best man will go and fetch my wife-to-be, Trish, who happens to be the girlfriend of my good brother and cousin Dynamo. Kuuku my good brother will lead the procession as they walk my bride into the night club amidst cheers and applause. Shortly after my bride stands before me and my boss who also doubles up as the Pastor will bless my marriage in a NIGHT CLUB on my birthday. Uncomfortable as it was the case, he will begin the work he never wanted to because of the venue but had to do it because he wanted me married any way I wanted as long as it will make me a happy man.

So he will go on and do the needful; bless us and I will subsequently drop the ring graciously on the fingers of my bride to the amazement of all and sundry. We were barely 18 when we crossed collective hearts. We cursed the dark and said, damn we should live until we die! (Smiles)

The problem isn’t about me getting married, the real problem is the venue; the night club. But all that will wrap up with the devil in the detail widely exposed. The whole thing was well planned and well excuted. You should have seen the surprise on my boss’ face when I told him and everyone present after few hours later in the night that they’ve all been pranked and this is my way of inviting them to my BIRTHDAY PARTY and not my MARRIAGE! Everything was madly orchestrated! (Lol)

And that’s how I succeeded in dragging everyone including one of the most important person in my life, Reverend Oliver Desbordes to my fake marriage in a NIGHT CLUB on my BIRTHDAY a couple of years back. And perhaps, that’s the only time I remember having a birthday party. (Besides the few ones organized by my parents as a little boy)

A new year is upon me today and I feel blessed to be alive. I’ve crossed many seas, climbed the tallest mountains, fought battles. I’ve been betrayed and even left to die. I’ve tamed the wildest side of me to my disappointment. (Lol). I’ve braved the odds, added value to myself and even taken on education, silently; the last decade!

I’ve been broken and broken a few hearts, disappointed by many and pulled a few stunts that could have broken my dear mum’s heart. I’ve chased my fears and seen my nights turn into days with split of second, that made my dad wondered how many times he called my mum on the night of what would eventually develop into twins on the 10TH of JANUARY. Phew! What a run! Yes! I’m the ROCK!

GOD must have been in His best putting such a soul without a STOP BUTTON together. Thanks to mum and dad for being the vessel. Thanks to the nurses for being patient with mum. Thanks to nature for treating me kind. Thanks to YOU for accommodating my crazy, silly and naughty self. Thanks to my twin for accepting to share his blood with me for the rest of his life. To my potential wife, you’d need a lot of patience and understanding to deal with this guy – so pray for more of it. Lol.

Sigh! What can I say?

Damn! I BLESS GOD FOR BEING GOD! 🙏🏿🥂

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